The House, The House, The House is on Fire

So now, picture yourself at Denver's Pride festival.  Wall-to-wall gay.  I know, the concept is a tad much to (I would say swallow, but that would just be tacky) absorb.  There are different levels and concepts to The Gay.  If you are going to Pride, you need to know about a) different gays and b) how to get out of this aircraft immediately in the event of an emergency.

Blogger's note:  Now, don't go getting all pissed off at me with my comments below.  They are opinion.  Opinion of this blogger, and doesn't represent the opinion of the management of this station.  Think of it as the part of the DVD where the actors and directors drone on and on while you watch a movie.

Hot, Hot, Hot

Gay men can be like different levels of Green Chile.  You got your mild - even tempered, wouldn't really know they were gay if you came across them in the Safeway.  Medium - yeah, the rainbow flags on the car kind of give it away.  Flaming Hot - cannot miss these (dare I say) guys from across the terminal.  Everything is FABULOUS!, every word has an accompanying hand gesture, and uses slang that would make a Valley Girl reach for her dictionary.  I got to be honest with you, these people are what give The Gay - The Bad Name.  I am sure that they are wonderful people, and their charity work is duly noted.  But you know as well as I do that Christian Evangelicals create one of their stereotypes based upon the Flaming Queen.  And that sticks with the public.  Much like the leather-clad whip dude.  And it is not representative of the population as a whole.

A Lovely, Secluded and Gated Community

Very politically correct gays speak about the term "community".  A lot.  Everything revolves around the community. The leather community.  The Sons of Lesbians community.  The left-handed transgendered (post-op, of course) community.  Thing is, no one really looks at what a community is.  Again, for good measure, I need to throw in the bit about opinion, and that this is mine.  I live in Snarkyopolis, grasp your head around that.  "Bring together the community", they speak.  To do what, have a yard sale?    Community implies limits - like the community ends at the corner of this road and that avenue.  We don't need boundaries, we don't need gates or fences, we need to be one with everyone else.  When have you seen a parade for Straight Rights?  As Margaret Cho once said "I was like, Am I gay? Am I straight? And I realized...I'm just slutty. Where's my parade?"   Hey, let's have a beer bust with the proceeds going to a Little League team!  Doubt it.  Unless that Little League Team were all 8 year old gays. 

The Gay does not have a King.  Or even a national spokesperson, one deity that we can all look up to and say "Yup, that Gay speaks for me."  No Jesse Jackson.  No Oprah.  No Dale Earnhardt, Jr.  Nope, nothin'.  Seriously, if an election were held today to vote for King Gay, I would vote for Rachel Maddow.

Da Bears!

First, some background information:

Bear is a LGBT slang term that refers to members of a subculture in the homosexual and bisexual male communities and to an emerging subset of LGBT communities with events, codes, and a culture-specific identity. It can also be used more generically to describe a physical body shape.

Bears tend to have hairy bodies and facial hair; some are heavy-set or muscular; some project an image of rugged masculinity in their grooming and appearance, though none of these are requirements or unique indicators. Some bears place importance on presenting a hypermasculine image and may shun interaction with, and even disdain, men who exhibit effeminacy. The bear concept can function as an identity, an affiliation, and an ideal to live up to, and there is ongoing debate in bear communities about what constitutes a bear, however a consensus exists that inclusion is an important part of the bear community. (See? they used the word community!  Twice!)

Given that, I will confess that I relate to this "community".  Really only because I fit the criteria of hairiness, a teensy bit on the heavy-set concept, and of course, that hypermasculine part. 

But you got to see these dudes in action.  Rugged, yes.  Sometimes slovenly, absolutely!  There are bear clubs.  They meet at Country Buffet.  Dead serious.  Want to clear a room of pesky bears?  Throw a box of Dunkin' Donuts the other direction then run.  Don't get me wrong, there are some really great guys who are bears.  I happen to live with one.  But again (remember, opinion), the ones who are all up in yer bidness take control of the moment.  Carpe Diem.  Caveat Emptor.

The typical Bear greeting is a bear hug.  Get it?  A prolonged embrace that goes on a little too long and is much more physical than your typical "bro hug".  Groping, while optional, is usually encountered.  Bears are naturally a little beefy.  Otherwise, they wouldn't be bears, they would be cubs (younger, smaller).  Or otters (not so hairy).  And there are guys who are big - I mean BIG - who take on the bear handle, even though they are not really bearish, as in hairy.  Can you imagine seeing a guy who is so large and has a lot of...what word do I use that isn't harsh...fat...that he can lift up a slab of skin and produce a still warm ham and cheese sandwich?

What it boils down to is that the Bears are usually a pretty good group, but remember, any group that has the term "gay" as an adjective before it is well, a gay group, and subject to all the rights and privileges of being a gay group, therefore being too inclusive, clicky and overall high and mighty.

Remember, people, SNARKY.  It's the whole concept here.

So look forward to future blogs where we will indeed cross that boundary that is Mexican Lesbianism and some other fun groupings of this Wonderful World of The Gay.