A few months ago, Steve's frequent flier miles were going to expire, and they were not enough to get a ticket, so I used them to get magazines. For me. I got Time, Sports Illustrated, and because there were more miles available than choices, I picked Out and The Advocate.
Like most things related to The Gay, the magazines were fashionably late in arriving. Something like 4 months. So I was reading through the publications today. Several things caught my eye, but most of all, I noticed how fabulous! The Gay life is. We may not have equality in marriage, but we are really, really fabulous!
The subjects in the articles are all about fabulous! The Gay people, not a zit on any of these folks. The advertisements are equally fabulous! in their attempt to get The Gay dollars. Example: The Las Vegas Tourist Board had an ad that has a picture of a dude with a towel around his waist. No head shot, but his body was fabulous! and hair free. There is a picture of a fabulous! razor on a fabulous! table. The only text was "Bare or Bear?" God forbid that any The Gay publication show any man with hair on his chest (unless it is a porn star, because for some reason, they seem to be exempt. Fabulous!, but exempt). There are ads for fabulous! vodka, fabulous! wedding receptions and fabulous! cruises, where all the men are 20 and fabulous!
Did you know that SiriusXM satellite radio has a The Gay channel? It is...wait for it...fabulous! It is also annoying as fuck. The afternoon drive time show has a fat butch lesbian and a queen, or so he thinks. They have guests who are fabulous! and talk about nothing about the fabulous!ness of The Gay. They speak openly about how non-fabulous! men with a little weight on them, a little less hair on the head and a little more on the chest are bad and don't belong to The Gay. Don't even get them started on back hair. According to their gospel, back hair is very un-fabulous!
To me, it all seems so unrealistic! to portray The Gay life as being something that is really could be, but isn't so all the time. It sets expectations of what it is going to be like to be The Gay, and let me tell you, it ain't all that and a bag of chips. But those chips will be baked, not fried, and presented with a fabulous! radish garnish. Jeez, it was tough enough to grow up The Gay in fun, provincial places like Marion Ohio in the 70's, I can't imagine what it is like for normal, run of the mill kids who are The Gay to come out now. I am going to blame this all on social media. Let's pause for a moment to consider the irony of that statement.
I could write for days about the hippocricity of The Gay, but because I value my follower(s), I will save that for future posts. Who's got your back? Huh? Who's Yer Buddy, Who's Yer Pal? Who really is the most fabulous! guy?
Don't get me wrong, I am all about equality and being fabulous! I am The Gay. I am really happy that they repealed Don't Ask, Don't Tell, since that will make so many boys wet dreams come true, being able to have fabulous! sex with their fabulous! hairy chested sergeant in a beautifully decorated foxhole.
But I do not get why The Gays have to be The Gays worst enemy.
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