The Problem with Sack o' Salad

It's the fucking red cabbage!  It's filler!  And not tasty filler, like what is inside a McDonald's apple pie.  Oh, and people, this shit is purple so WTF is that all about?

So when I want to eat a salad, I got to perform surgery on the stuff, to get all the "red" cabbage out, as you can see below.  Notice that one itsy-bitsy shred of carrot.

But here is a helpful consumer tip!  See the little pee specimen jar right above my plate?  What a COOL way to carry small amounts of salad dressing!  And they are disposable.  So next time you get your physical, take a bag and kipe some of them for future use.  And never say I never gave you helpful hints.